Being an author is, well... an entirely new experience for me. It's rewarding and also debilitating. It's amazing, but also horrible. It's something I've always wanted to do ever since I was a kid writing short little stories, but I'm also here now and I've never felt more judged and more criticized.
I like the criticism because I can only get better. I enjoy the loneliness because that's when I can recharge my battery. I love the fact that I can live out my childhood dream.
But as all artists do... they struggle. The good, the bad, the ugly, the absolutely breathtaking moments within typing and creating this other world.
There are good days when I see a 5-star review. There are days when I see an ugly comment and there's no sales and I'm about to just shut down. But that's life, and I constantly need to remind myself of this.
I mean, hell. If I had a regular job like I used to (a Director of Student Services at a secondary brick-and-mortar school), I think I would blow my brains out. Working, coming home, and taking care of my own kid and not fulfilling my dreams, yeah, give me the fucking gun. But I finally get to do what I've always wanted to do, and yet here I am, still struggling because guess what, that's the human experience.
Also, I'm in Florida right now because my husband's job allows it, and I am a SAHM mom as well as a writer... yeah, I should actually just stfu. But again, I'll say, I'm still human, and while I have it very good, I still have my own struggles.
My biggest struggle right now is that I have this strong urge to go back and edit the first book. From ARCs and a few of my own judgy readings, I want to edit the fuck out of it. And that's what second editions are for. I'll write the second book how the first book is and continue the entire series, but then after that, I know for a fact I'll be doing an entire second edition, with new cover art and some major edits that I think need to be taken out, remastered, and rewritten. It's good, it may be great (and that might be a bit of a stretch on my part), but it could always be better to be better understood, with a better flow and better pacing.
Oh, and on a side note, if you are reading this and you have a gal or guy who doesn't have a valentine, get them the Heartbreaker Bundle that's only 14.99. It comes with a signed copy, my own artwork of a Valentine's-themed sticker sheet (6 stickers), a handwritten letter, a mystery character bookmark, and something to suck on... a lollipop, obviously!
See y'all in the comments and on my socials <3
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